Friday, September 6, 2013

Quickly Taking It

This here is a story about how I'm already sick of school. Actually, I love my kids' school because the teachers think my kids are as great as I think they are, but also will laugh at their typical kid antics without changing that affection. What I am sick of is the sickness. Mine are the children who get horrendously ill the first few weeks of school just when I am super excited to get some housework completed without some muddy swamp-thing coming in to show me their newest friend that came under the fence from the woods behind the house. There has been a stomach virus, pink eye and a mystery headache/fever virus already. There have also been lies. One day they will realize you can't fool the girl who had 13 absences and zero fevers in one quarter of her third grade year.
The major issue with the OT seems to have been resolved, though we shall see next week. It was, above all, a miscommunication. Mae is Mae, not Down syndrome as her OT seemed to be expecting. That is not so say that Down syndrome doesn't factor into Mariana's person so much as to say, she's not what you expect. I imagine all people with Down syndrome don't quite fit the books. I said as much to the OT. I explained my predicament, that I know my kid, but I can't go and read all there is on Down syndrome because 90% won't be applicable and I don't have the time to wade through all of that to find the 10% that is. I said that I didn't want to hear about her delays. I get it, we live in that space. It's boring. Mariana may well be delayed (she is), but what has that got to do with what we do next? How does that even factor into her abilities and deficiencies? Truth is, it doesn't. Those stats are useful as far as they get you, but since we don't expect our kid to be anything other than herself, let's raise the bar. Let's find out how much she can do, what makes her unable to meet the goal and use her strengths to strengthen her weaknesses. Once that was out on the table our OT gobbled it up. I have to say, there is something uniquely satisfying about stating your needs and having them embraced. I guess I just needed some of these frustrations to adequately assess our needs and express them clearly. Lesson 4,789: Frustrations in life are better viewed as lessons.

I have a genuine question, but I'm not sure where to pose it. You see, I've been seeing a lot of postings on the Ds and other Trisomy pages about noninvasive prenatal testing. They seem to come down very strongly that it is wrong because it leads to the extermination of a specific segment of the population. My problem is that I don't quite understand this position. I do see how prenatal testing leads to abortions, I'm not disputing that. I just don't understand blaming the testing for the abortions. There are a lot of reasons women choose to terminate in the face of an adverse diagnosis, one of the largest is fear and a presentation by doctors that reinforces this fear. It's very hard to say that information that leads to so many deaths is neutral, but I think it is neutral information. I think this because I would never terminate a pregnancy, but I would pursue accurate noninvasive testing if I thought it would bring me peace and the opportunity to prepare. I also look at early noninvasive testing as potentially being useful should there every be a genetic therapy that can be utilized during pregnancy.

So my question is really along the lines of "What am I missing here?" Many people I respect, including those in the scientific field are very opposed to the development of these tests. I feel as though I am missing something vital to having a well formed opinion on this subject. All of these tests seem safe and accurate. Any direction at all would be greatly appreciated.

One day, I found this on my refrigerator:
After being dismayed that my fourth grader didn't pose this request as a question, I decided it was doable. I have curled her hair twice before school, only to have her walk out of school with poker straight locks. And to think, one day she'll probably share her mother's joy of having half curly/half straight hair.

Football season is now in session, let us all rejoice and be glad! Mostly because The Ohio State is the best team ever, and their little 2 point conversion tactics against Buffalo really ticked off the Michigan fans. A boy I used to babysit (and is my sister's nephew) plays for The Ohio State, and he's a good boy, well okay, young man. It makes it more fun to cheer for the good ol' Buckeyes knowing this kid is wearing the scarlet and gray.

Another sweet joy is that I am friends with some Michigan fans. One is up there in that place, and we were having us a little FB sass. I reminded her that Urban was named after a pope, much like her youngest son who is coming in the next few weeks. She didn't respond, which is all the sweeter.

We are sad about the Georgia loss in this house, but it's not the end of the world. These SEC weirdos are all about the SEC being the toughest conference in the nation, so they expect a loss here and there. Clemson is a tough opponent, unlike, well, Buffalo. Anyway, you can expect the Fryman kids to be doing the O-H-I-O dressed in their Georgia gear. It really rubs the Gators the wrong way, which makes us all happier.
Picture day was today, and I am super excited to see the results. I love picture day, but my lesser nature loves bad school pictures. I feel like it is a rite of passage for a kid to have a terrible school picture. My favorite are the boys in that super-skinny-big-teeth phase and the girls who had their mother's do their hair only to have the Florida humidity choose a different style that is much less flattering. Though I have to admit that with the digital age, I can't wrap my head around these bad takes. Last year Molly's was so terrible I thought she must have asked a heavy photographer if she was pregnant, except she said it was a man who took her photo. Maybe she asked him if he was pregnant. Who knows? I do know I tucked that bad boy right into the file folder that has all of her school photos, and if she's a rotten teenager I might even use it against her.
The mosquitoes are back. God save us all.
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!


  1. #2- You are such a good mom and I am so glad God chose you for your daughters and son.
    #3- I am interested to see the answer. We do the non-invasive tests, all of them (aaron has REALLY good insurance). We do them because our doctor was all like, 'the more information you give me, the better off we will be on the delivery date'. That makes sense to me. I know lots and lots of Catholics that don't do any testing and SOME that think testing is wrong, so I am curious...
    5. You know my feelings on OSU. I think I'd be more okay with them if they switched to the ol' SEC. Their style/ethics would be more appropriate there. Can you make that happen?

    1. But if we left, who would you hate? OSU and UM are the best rivalry in football, you know that's right.