Molly Monday - The Make it Work Edition

Friday I revealed that Mariana is too small, was losing weight and the likely cause is an inefficient nurser combined with dwindling supply. I decided to feature this problem on Molly Monday because it is about diet and nutrition and what happens when you can't follow your own philosophy.

It started a while ago, when I realized that I was having difficulty giving Mariana enough time to nurse. I looked up a few recipes for making my own formula. The best one I found was made with ingredients I would have to mail order and milk I would have to drive 30miles round trip to get. After that I would have to make the formula, which was a time consuming process as well. Though I feel like I might be able to come up with a crock-pot version, I have neither the time nor the inclination to fiddle with recipes. Time and Money - They are Finite.  (The title of my next first book.)

Flash forward to Thursday when the nurse practitioner suggested I begin to supplement with formula. I was of two minds, as I always am about not being a paragon of perfect perfection. On one hand I was so grateful that the issue of her weight had become a problem. I had long been concerned about her growth, but had been reminded time and again that kids with Down syndrome do not follow the normal growth chart.

On the other hand, formula is gross. The smell, the texture, the spit up. It's gross. Never mind the processing that making formula entails. And the corn syrup that it contains. And the soy. And that I haven't found one that is certified non GMO yet.

Yes, I was torn. However, I quickly and quietly calculated our dilemma and left the doctor having made a decision. I bought two kinds of formula, one is hypoallergenic, though not organic and processed to high hell, the other is Earth's Best organic. I buy the Alementum in liquid form because it has no soy while all dry formula has it. My plan is to try to alternate the two in the hope that I can keep Mariana away from too much soy. Ugh, soy.


I also will admit to fearing judgement from some of the purer foodies out there. But again, their lives are not the same as mine. For example - there is a cheaper, more convenient and healthy way to make formula. Unfortunately it uses coconut oil. Usually I believe coconut oil flows from the top of Mount Olympus, but because I have two nephews on my side of the family who have tree nut allergies, we've been cautioned to wait until at least a year to introduce coconut oil. Deciding on baby formula was the best I could do with the knowledge I have, and I feel great about it.

The point of all of this is; sometimes you can't be perfect. In fact, there will many times that you'll have to make compromises. Some of them will be big and some small. The consequences will be that you will either back-track and realize that it was a poor compromise, or the world will keep turning and no one will be worse for it. The whole journey of working toward a healthier way of life is trial and error, a point I can not stress enough.

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The Consequences

So far the biggest draw back to the formula is that reflux has returned. However, it may be the amount of food she is eating as well, since she was not getting enough before. I have put her back on Zantac to see what happens. Trial and error, people.

The pro list is far longer. She has a ton more energy, which means she is much happier. Where meal times were riddled with anxiety, they are now times of practicing signs and clapping. She isn't afraid she'll starve between bites, and that is so lovely to see. She also has made progress toward crawling, though she's only gone backwards. There are now naps and wonderful nighttime sleeping. She has also gained over a half pound. Daddy is probably the most happy because we can be in the same room while he tends to her. Usually she is frantic about being in my arms...but I'm still her favorite!

Molly Monday

Okay, I skipped a lot of posts I've been meaning to write. If I go to hell, at least my road will be well paved. But on to Molly Monday!

We were supposed to test Molly on quinoa this past week, but I feel iffy about it. I really don't want to upset the apple cart, but similarly I'd like to try new things. I'll let you know if I bite the bullet this week or not.

Anyway, I've had plenty of questions from people regarding diet, and I find I tend to overwhelm people with all the "NO's!" in our world. I understand how that can be because the world is so full of products we are used to buying, and saying no to all of that seems extreme and restrictive beyond reason. So, I decided to give you just a little advice on how to start your adventure.

Let me see, where to begin. How about don't panic. Starting a new way of eating is going to freak you out. Why? Because you have to change your routine, and nothing is harder than changing habits. I know, I stopped sucking my thumb at age 10, and only did so when my dad told me I could start wearing makeup 2 years after I stopped. And the moral of that story is: Motive matters! So, as it was with us, I was dragging my family and myself kicking and screaming into being radical eaters. (Radical, because it's so different, not because we are standing up on a mountain waiting for the food gods to smite those who pull into a Subway.)  Molly would improve and then break out with a series of symptoms that I knew in my bones was food related, but felt ill equipped, either by my ignorance or my budget, to handle. So if you getting a feeling that your kid or kids or husband or yourself need to address some mystery symptoms, and you think food might just be the source. This is how I would start if I were starting all over.

1. A good source of probiotics. This is going to be key, and I personally don't trust shelf-stable probiotics. Also, any supplement you take ought to be a high quality supplement, or it's just not worth the money.

2. Go gluten free, but not by incorporating gluten free breads and cookies and garbage. Gluten intolerance is growing by leaps and bounds, and it's not just a general hypochondria. Going gluten free is a good opportunity to clean out some bad snacking habits you've developed by reaching for a packaged snack rather than an apple. I'm not saying you should never eat anything processed forever and ever amen, I'm saying you have this unique opportunity to change your habit of reaching for something that has many ingredients, most of which are not food to a habit of reaching for something simple and natural. (Here's a good interview with the author of Wheat Belly.)

3. Next you can start buying better quality ingredients. This is a big step if you are more motivated by price than anything else. If you are overwhelmed by going totally organic, try going organic for just the dirty dozen. Try incorporating one meal a week with pastured beef or chicken.

4.  Get yourself an attitude adjustment! This is an experiment, which means you don't know what the outcome will be. Be curious and adventurous rather than anxious and doubtful. Why doubt what you don't know yet?

5. Don't judge other people's eating habits. This is more for your friends and family than you. I know a lot of people change the way they eat and then spout off about processed foods like it's a character flaw to eat Ritz crackers. In fact, most of the push back you will get is from people being defensive. Many times someone makes a change or takes up something new they get excited and become a zealot, which more often than not, turns others off. If your friends and family hear you repeat that you are doing this as an experiment, or that you are excited about some results, they'll show interest as long as you don't start on the "You should..." statements. You go there and they'll stop asking.

Okay, I think that's a good first set of steps, hope it goes well for you all!

Molly Monday

I have mentioned, more than once, that we follow a pretty strict diet because of Molly. I have had many people request details, which I have avoided giving publicly because I get angsty about sharing too much of my kids' lives. After, all, their privacy belongs to them and I have to respect that I am raising adults, and hopefully not narcissistic ones. But time and time again I run up against this need from other people to know where to start. So, on Mondays that I post, I will dedicate space for Molly's special needs, since diet isn't all that private and embarrassing.

A little background...
Molly was a very hard baby, though I didn't really feel put-upon by her because I had a very good routine. She did not take a bottle for 7 months, was difficult to feed solids and had a "cold" since she was 3 weeks old. When she started solids she got eczema, mostly behind her knees, on her feet and on her hands where she sucked her thumb. She would not keep socks on because they bothered her feet so badly. At one point I sat down with the doctor and pretty much ranted about the fact that, no, my baby hasn't had a cold since birth, and you need to tell me why she is so snotty all the time. The answer she gave was reflux, and the zantac did work, so I went on my merry way.

But the eczema was so bad that I again asked the doctor for help. Her response was cortizone cream. I am not opposed to medication. I am grateful for modern medicine. It saves many lives every day. However, I, in my limited understanding of medicine, knew that steroid cream for a baby might not be a good idea as the first line of defense, especially when said baby has a chronic condition. But I tried the cream, and she broke out with hives. So she was diagnosed with "contact dermatitis".

From Wikipedia: Contact dermatitis is a term for a skin reaction (dermatitis) resulting from exposure to allergens (allergic contact dermatitis) or irritants (irritant contact dermatitis). Phototoxic dermatitis occurs when the allergen or irritant is activated by sunlight.

This was the tipping point. I have not gone into great detail about my discussions with the pediatrician, but believe me when I tell you that I felt utterly disgusted with the doctor by the time Molly was one. We did our best, but it was a lot of trial and a whole lot of error. I knew, in that sixth sense sort-of way, that Molly's problem was dietary. She hated all formula, and when she abruptly stopped nursing at 8 months, we had to give her goat's milk. To this day I cannot stand the smell or taste of any goat or sheep food product because of the smell of Molly's spit up and diapers.

We did elimination diets, vegetarian diets, organic diets. Sometime during that second year Paul was born and Scott lost his job. Molly's issues were put on the back burner, but we did do the best we could with the little we understood. It was a chiropractor that I was seeing for my shoulder who finally pointed us in the right direction. He wasn't 100% correct, but he did say that she had an low functioning adrenal glad and to put her on a low Omega 6 diet while upping her Omega 3s. Through that advice we cut out all grains including corn. We began to care about where our food comes from. We learned to decode labels and find out what the animals we ate were eating themselves. Corn, as it turns out, was the biggest offender. Corn is in seemingly every thing. Chickens and cows are fed corn, and that mattered to Molly.

Oh, and we tried to be "balanced", which is code for not diligent. We'd tell family members not to worry about what Molly needed. She could have an "off" day as long as she at mostly good foods. We would go out to eat and feed Molly the best we could, and sometimes we'd let her have a cookie or "unsafe" ice cream. And Molly would whine about being achy or that her tummy hurt or she was tired. We'd roll our eyes because Molly's always been a bit whiny and lazy.

But then something rather miraculous happened. My sister called me. (No, that isn't a miracle!) She complained about her daughter's skin irritations and belly aches and she just needed to know what to do, not a big long list of "NO". M began to change the way they ate, and she discovered her daughter didn't have belly aches or as many episodes of asthma. She also discovered E was far more friendly and outgoing than before and a lot more compliant. Once E didn't feel like crap every day, her lovely personality shone so brightly almost everyone remarked on it. But the miracle for Molly was something M discovered through E. One day they were running and E complained about feeling tired and slow. M, stupidly, but not really because it worked out okay, Googled E's symptoms. She found a vitamin B deficiency accounted for all of E's complaints and started her one one immediately. The description E gave sounded like Molly's whole personality, so I started Molly on a supplement. Wouldn't you know it, Molly blossomed. She is far more active than ever, far more compliant than ever, and she is learning so well at school. We've really been blessed with finding more people who are experiencing all sorts of wonderful results with changing the family diet. They are all a huge resources for us.

We also did a modified GAPS elimination with her. Because she didn't exhibit any autistic or ADHD symptoms, I was concerned about jumping full into a fasting type of program. What we have found is "cheating" cheats Molly. So we are now totally corn and gluten free. The other kids eat rice, but we don't go crazy with it. Our food comes from reputable sources and our animal products are from pastured animals who get exercise. Healthy animals = healthy food. We also do meatless Fridays, and I've noticed I feel a lot better after starting that.

So I will try to build on this post with recipes and experiences and I will also be open to answering any questions about dietary needs. I'm not an expert, but I do have a lot of experience. If you wonder where to start, I'd go with Real Food Freaks and GAPS and Wellness Mama. I'd also go with your observations and be merciful with yourself. It'll go a long way in keeping you sane!