At last we had a new OT assigned and she came on Friday into the Mama bear den. In my defense, I felt it was necessary to come at her both barrels because Mae will be two soon and only has one year left of at-home therapy through this program. It's be eight months to get this particular service. We don't have this kind of time! So I gave it to her straight. I won't be remodeling my home to accommodate her. I won't be carving 15 minutes out 4 times a day for OT. I want to know what we are working toward. I want practical homework. I want you to push us both. I want you to treat her as a person rather than expect her to do things because she has a diagnosis. You have to actually do things with her.
It was a lot, but we have a life and we need our child to be able to function in it. She must drink from a cup, and so I give her one. She must eat with a spoon and fork and keep her plate on her tray, so we work on that. She must dress herself at some point, so we try to have her do as much as possible. She may be delayed, but that doesn't mean we don't work. You may have awesome therapy techniques, but if they can't translate into daily living, then they won't get used much. We don't spend tons of time playing in the play room. And guess what? That's normal. Life is therapy, so teach me to weave the therapy into our lives.
She was very receptive to everything I had to offer. Shortly after she left I received a text from my primary service provider that the OT couldn't find time to see us. Message received. Moving on.
My parents came to visit and my mother, God love her, did laundry non-stop. I mean, we are talking wash and fold. So I am trying to keep up. I used to love doing laundry. I am not sure when that changed, but it has. I also used to love to iron. If I had tons of money I would like to imagine that it would all go to the poor, but in reality some of it would go toward hiring a laundry service.
I painted the girls' room. I primed and painted the girls room in two colors, lavender and teal. I set up two lofted beds with desks. I also did this in three days time. When my parents came to visit the girls were very excited to show off their new digs. The next day my dad was making a shopping list and asked if we had masking tape.
"We have painters tape." I answered, wondering if that would do.
"You have painters tape?" he asked.
"Yeah, it's in the garage."
"Then why didn't you use it in the girls room?"
This caused me to crack up laughing because it was a perfect parent-dig. I still don't know if he meant it as a dig or if it was a real question. It was also a perfect mirror to a conversation that Scott and I may have possibly had in the past. Let's put it this way; Scott found that conversation explained a lot about me.
So, I'll be doing some trim work this weekend. (No, I won't. The girls don't care, so neither do I!)
To be fair there are plenty of kids just like Paul on his team. The team has kids ranging in ages 3-6. It's crazy to think that this was a good idea, but that's what you get when you sign them up for a church league. Everyone gets a shot, even the weird kids.
It is a little surprising to me that I do not feel the need to justify this. I told Scott about it and gave no reasons why I want to go. Of course he was supportive. I have actually begun to justify it to myself and made a conscience effort to stifle that. I don't want to justify why I need this. I don't want to list all of my responsibilities and my habits of not taking enough care of myself. It's the same old song for every parent in all of history. I want to go to this thing because it looks fun and it's not with anyone that I know. When I say I want a retreat, I mean from everything familiar. I want to have myself a little adventure, and it feels great not to have to bemoan this life I love in order to feel like I deserve it. I don't deserve it, I desire it.
Too often, probably because of the culture of entitlement that we live in, we feel that all of our desires are somehow too selfish to be satisfied without a litany of justifications. I don't think that it has to be that complicated. If you are a well adjusted person with a modicum amount of self awareness, finding something that ignites interest and won't place undue burdens on others is a great thing to explore. Fun is good for the soul y'all.
I informed the school, and I have to say that I was really happy with the conversation that the principal and I had. He's a good man and a great administrator. He has been very supportive of making sure that Kate's at least on par with the school just in case we decide to have her return. I think we may well do that, but I'm taking it one year at a time. He gave me great advice regarding her independence as a student. I feel very blessed to have this school in our lives. None of the other kids are interested in homeschooling and I'm good with that. One at a time seems just like my pace at this point. I'm excited and nervous to see where this next school year takes us, but we've got a few months to go with this one, so I'll be patient.