Sunday, April 22, 2012

Hm, Been A While

I intended to keep a better record of the goings on, but here is a recap of my weeks since the last post.

The baptism was the Saturday after Easter. My parents came in on Friday and brought the gown, which my mother slaved over to remove spit-up stains. It was pristine. I did next to no preparation even though Scott took Friday off. Instead on Friday we took the kids to the beach. It was chilly and windy, but we said we would do it, and we did.  Even an early morning tooth extraction for Scott didn't stop us. We are trying harder not to let the constant pop-up emergencies to keep us from keeping our word. We don't promise things to the kids, but it seems like there is always a reason not to follow through. Friday night my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie and bought a bunch of deli meat and bread and cheese as well as some fruit and veggie platters for lunch the next day.

Saturday was very laid back. We picked up around the house, mostly I just nursed Mae, so really Scott picked up. My mom prepped meat and cheese trays. I managed to make iced- tea without breaking a sweat. Scott's mom and family showed up mid-day to eat, give Charlotte early birthday gifts and chill before going to the hotel. My sister and family came later in the afternoon from Daytona after stopping at a hotel to get ready.

Mass was at 5:15. I was so filled with excitement that Mae would be baptized on the Feast of Divine Mercy. I had really felt aware of God's great mercy since her birth, and I was praying fervently for his mercy to be poured out upon Nora's family. The actual baptism was after mass, and the great Father Tony baptized our sweet girl. Will, my godson, was her godfather and Kate, my sister and my confirmation sponsor, was her godmother. Father Tony was great, as always, but quick because there was a wedding right after! Mae didn't even squeak at the water on her head. We picked dinner up from Hurricanes and celebrated at our house after. Yippee!

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Tuesday was a big day. Charlotte bounded into our room in the morning to remind us to say our last prayer of the novena we'd been saying for Nora. We waited all day for updates from Aleisa and my sisters on Facebook. It was intense. I couldn't stop praying, "Please God, give them a miracle, that girl can change so many hearts!" I had talked to Charlotte in an effort to prepare her for a sad outcome. "Charlotte, we can ask God for anything, and He wants us to ask, but we have to vow to trust His answer. We can be sad, we can be really sad, but today is a good day no matter what. We have to tell God that no matter what we will celebrate Nora. She will either be a miracle or a saint. There is no bad outcome, only our sadness at her family not being allowed to shower their love on a body." Charlotte said she understood, but I got the feeling her feelings of light and joy were spiritually driven. Charlotte is ultra-sensitive and seems to be receptive to the emotions of others. She also seems to anticipate joy or dread grief in advance. I have to admit that her happiness on Tuesday, though it was her birthday, seemed other-worldly. It made me very hopeful.

Nora was born in the evening. It was all very dramatic and joyful and we celebrated with happy tears in our house. We may have been several states away, but our hearts were with Nora's family. I still pray every day for that family and that darling baby girl, but my prayer is more like a cheer, "Keep it up, God! Keep it up!"

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I've started calling Mariana "Mae". Paul calls her "May-nana", and I guess I shortened that. I didn't quite realize how often I was calling her Mae until Thursday. I had pulled into the garage and had a ton of things to bring into the car. I left Mariana in her seat to bring in last because she was asleep and I knew she would want to eat when I got her out. "YOU FORGOT MAE!" Paul screamed at me. I've grown used to his over-protective/my-mother-is-incapable-of-caring-for-my-sister attitude, so what struck me was his calling her Mae. I like it. Scott likes Mariana better, so we just call her what we like. Admittedly it's as likely to be a term of endearment as her real name, but I don't think "Sweet Baby Monkey-Toes" will last as long as "Mae".

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I started running again. Well, I started the Couch-to-5K program, which is a little remedial for my liking, but I tend to over-do it when I get back in the work-out routine. As my sister Kate says, "Be humble." I try to remember that, but it's hard when I know what my pace yesterday was, and I want to kick it in the face. When I run I feel like a baby bird hatching. It hurts a little, but the sweat feels so good! I am surprised that it's my abdomen that hurts the most after a run. I'm still wearing compression tanks, and that helps, but dude, c-sections are not fun!

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In terms of Down syndrome, I've discovered we don't really live with the effects just yet. There are appointments and such, but so it is with the other children. Instead of the dentist, we've got Early Steps. I sense people have a lot of questions, so I try to invite them. I am not offended by curiosity. Even if I get annoyed at some mantras repeated to us, I understand. I knew nothing about this on March 5th. We are still learning. Our girl is doing all the things a little baby should. She is starting to bat at toys and have more head control. She has started to coo a little. She's freaking awesome just like all the babies we've had!

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 That is the big wrap up. Weather is all kinds of rainy, which is cramping my style with our new Tower Garden. But am sure the rest of the plants in Florida need the drink, so we'll manage. Life is good, let's not forget it!



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